Yuma mother, stepson legally become family

  They say you can't pick your family, but that is exactly what Yuman Bonnie Rhodes did earlier this month when she legally adopted the young man she raised for many years, and has always considered a son.

  "As far as I'm concerned, he has always been my son and I wanted to make it legal," said Rhodes, who is the general manager of the Clarion Motel. "Everyone needs to be connected to someone."

  Rhodes said she got the idea to adopt her former 23-year-old stepson Tyler, who works as a telemarketer selling insurance, recently while she was preparing some legal documents.

  "We had talked about it before, but I just wanted to get it done," Rhodes said. "I didn't want our relationship contested regarding my documents and doing this made it legal. I wanted to ensure they would be honored."

  Rhodes, who also has a biological son named Matt from a previous marriage, was married to her stepson's biological father from 1987 until they divorced in 1999 ending their 12-year marriage.

  "I have been Tyler's stepmom since he was four years old, which I feel makes him mine," Rhodes said. "When his father and I divorced he decided to stay with me."

  According to the adoption paperwork filed with the court, Tyler's biological father has not had any contact with him in seven years and his mother hasn't had any contact with him in over 10 years.

  "Not only did Tyler get a mother out of the adoption, he also got a brother," Rhodes said. "It was a ready-made family."

  Rhodes describes her relationship over the years with Tyler as a typical mother-son relationship. She added that Tyler and Matt are also close, saying that when Matt, who lives in Scottsdale, recently got married, Tyler was part of the ceremony

  Yuma attorney Bill Crimins, who drafted the adult adoption paperwork, said he initially didn't know if it was possible.

  "When (Bonnie) initially approached me about it, I told her I wasn't sure, but that I would look into it," Crimins said. "I found out you can under a relatively unknown statute."

  Crimins explained that under Arizona law, an adult can adopt another adult providing there was an existing kinship relationship, such as a stepmother and stepson.

  "When I filed the paperwork, the court told me they had only seen it filed a few times before in the past 20 years or so," Crimins said. "The best thing about it is that it doesn't require the consent of the biological parents."

  Crimins filed the paperwork on Tuesday July 30 and  the Rhodes had their hearing on Aug. 6 where Superior Court Judge John R. Nelson approved the adoption.

  "It was nice when we got out of the car afterwards he said thanks 'mom' and I said thanks 'son'," Rhodes said.

  Tyler was unable to be contacted for this article.

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James Gilbert can be reached at jgilbert@yumasun.com or 539-6854.